Choking Back HAM

It's been a little while, though certainly not for lack of hammy material to write about.

More like the abundance that has practically made us choke during dinner, run off the road on the way to church, or absolutely have to call daddy in the middle of the day... we're having some trouble keeping up.

From the Bathroom
Just the other day, while at a thrift store looking for bed rails, Hope spotted a Dora doll unlike anything she's ever seen. She stroked the "Mama Dora's" hair and whispered to her, "You are pwetty. I love you and you love me." I glanced at the price tag, smiled, and worked up a little potty mouth. (The number oneness-- going swimmingly well! The number twoness-- irrational fear out the wazoo!) So Hope and I came to an agreement about going home... while she napped I'd clean up the big Dora, she'd discover the joys of full potty training, and "Mama Dora" would be hers. She didn't even wait until after her nap to try, especially since I pulled out all the stops with a "vidyo" and everything.

But she had just gone that morning, so no luck. After nap, it was back to business. I strategically fed her raisins for a snack and then went upstairs to change Maddie. When I came back down she held up her potty bowl and exclaimed, "Yook! I did it!" Floating in a small bit of water were a couple of the raisins or, should I say, poop impostors. I choked back my laughter for a little discussion about honesty.

From the Backseat
Me: Let's all get ice-cream; it's Friday!

(long, thoughtful pause)

H (gleefully and all but shouting): Well, I'm just gonna share my ice-cweam with all of you because you're pwetty and I yike you!!

Daddy: Being pretty isn't the only reason you should share, you know. God made everyone and He thinks everyone is pretty.

H: Umm, yes.

Then, as an afterthought.

H: You're pwetty too, Daddy!

What a relief.
***

H (holding her Baby Renee): Oh Mommy, pwease hand me a wipe!!!

M: What's wrong?

H: This baby has a dirty diaper.

M: Oh, no! Well, here you go.

H (peering into the diaper): No, no, no... it's a nasty diaper.

M:Well that--

H (holding it up in disbelief): No, no, no... it's disgusting!

M: Well--

H (wadding it up and throwing it my way): NO, NO, NO... it's super nasty! Slimy! It's a slimy diaper! Super nasty, slimy, disgusting diaper!

Alrighty then. We've always wished Hope would tell us how she really feels.

From the Bedroom
After scaling her crib rails, thus the reason for needing real bed rails, Hope climbed into bed with me one Saturday morning. As usual she had her stack of library books and she flopped them one by one beside me with the request that I read them all. I told her (one of those things you swear you'll never say) that "I just needed to rest my eyes for a few minutes." Maybe she could read to me? "Just hold my hand then," she replied and closed her eyes as if to snuggle back to sleep. A second or less into this sweet moment she changed her mind, "Uhh... just hold my feet, Mama... I don't need those to read."

Choke... gag... gasp... and those are only the ones off the top of my head! :)