My Heart...

Please understand this post from just that place. No soapbox. Just a full heart.

Could I be serious for a minute? Serious, yet hopeful? Words and ideas, worries and messages of hope have been stirring in me for some time now. I'm sure I'm not alone in this considering all that's going on, but Sunday some things powerfully broke free through my tears. Let me try to explain some of it if I can. Joe knows, just as I know about him, I tend to be a verbal processor. So, as you can imagine, we've really learned to be patient with one another over the years . Thank you for being patient with me now.

As I type this everyone in my house is asleep. I just laid Maddie in her bassinet as she sweetly drifted off in my arms. Joe is literally behind me dozing protectively beside Hope who has had trouble sleeping the last few nights from a virus she's been fighting. Her deep breaths remind me she is getting better. Even Tucker has retreated to his spot to watch over the house for the night. In this moment, I expect myself to be at total peace. And so I am, but then again I am not.

When I woke up from landing on my face this past July, my eyes opened to some realities about the world as I knew it. About the time in which we live. We sang in church on Sunday about falling face down and the glory of God rising up. That song became literal to me in a way I can't quite describe, especially when our pastor exhorted us to get on our knees and cry out to the Lord for the healing our nation so desperately needs. Will we as a nation wake up before we hit face first? When our eyes are opened, will we understand that all the bail outs and strategies and plans in the world can't replace what we were founded on? Who we were founded on? Why we have been so successful as a country? These are serious, Deuteronomy 28, times which tell us of the blessings that could be ours even now if we'll humble ourselves and pray. The blessings He longs to be ours. Yet, the curses we've so far chosen to accept as sad substitutes.

So tonight I am at peace because I know Who our hope lies in, peace not as the world gives it and no matter the times. Then again peace escapes me because there is a hurting nation, a hurting world right outside this slumbering household. I want to give them the reason for this hope and peace we have, not because of any selfish ambition, but because of a deep abiding love that none should perish. But that all should have abundant life here and everlasting life beyond here.

Thanks for "listening" and goodnight...