Strength

"She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..." ~Birdee, Hope Floats


This quote has gone with me each time we've moved. It's message rings even truer with this one. I suspect it has something to do with the little girls who depend on me. So much of their new beginning comes from my influence as we journey through each new day together.

Most of the time I am pretty glass half full... not because I feel like I have to be, but because there is a peace that lives inside of me. One that defies situations and emotions. Even when I want to be down in the dumps there's this small, still voice that starts counting my blessings.

It's fine to have discouraging times, of course. Necessary even. I've found it's how I choose to deal with them, how I decide to recover from them that makes all the difference. Do I stay and linger in the valleys? Do I let darkness or disappointment win knowing that all it takes is one little glimmer of light to overcome?

I'm a pick myself up by the bootstraps kind of girl. I really get the passage about how David strengthened himself in the Lord.

But that's just it.

He strengthened himself in the Lord.

Since the whirlwind of losing, finding, packing, selling, moving, finishing, and starting I have been goal oriented and driven by purpose. But now that the flurry of activity has slowed down, I look around and think-- we're really here, we really did move. I know there is much good to come from this new adventure-- I feel it, I see it. Even so, it's right about now that I have a decision to make. I am tired. I am emotional. I am both thrilled and kind of overwhelmed by the potential that lies ahead.

Yet I choose to get up and climb out of the valley where worry and doubt and fatigue reside. By my own strength, it will never happen. Especially when facing deeper and darker times, inner struggles and harder situations-- I just don't know how it's done alone.

My husband is loving and ever supportive and my children are my joy.

But their strength is not enough either.

I often think that folks, including myself at times, get confused by people in the church versus God himself. During our time in Tennessee, church ended up being a sometimes hard thing. Honestly our feelings were hurt and we saw some situations that amazed us, both for the good and for not. It was a strange time of growth in that way.

We are meant to live in fellowship, in community. We wholeheartedly believe He created us to need one another and to live together, rejoicing and sharing in each other's lives and burdens. In fact, we have had some absolutely wonderful fellowship over the years, and I wouldn't give up church family for anything. Even with the hardships I believe the things we experienced have prepared us for this new season of working with tender college students who may feel lonely or like they've lost their way.

Yet the strength of friends, churched or not, is also not enough.

And so I go to that strength and I make myself a promise. To guard my time, to take my thoughts captive, to dig deeper into His promises every morning on the happy white porch swing He saw fit to give me.

That's the only place where enough can truly begin.

My flesh and my heart fails, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26

After all-- those little girls, their hearts and their beginnings, are watching as I go.

Starting Now,
~Katrina