Fear and a Birth Story

There are certain things, I believe, that every family has to deal with in their lives. Things perhaps that get passed down from generation to generation, knowingly and unknowingly.

For the women in my family that thing tends to be guilt. The "I should haves" that try to steal joy from all the "I did its" in our lives.

For Joe's family that thing is often fear. Something I'm not sure I really understood until I had children. Having to dig deep and believe they would be okay, we would be okay... no matter what. If I let it, that fear alone could grip and overtake. Especially as I look toward this third baby meant to enlarge our number and our hearts.

Were it not for, at least, two things...

II Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

No coincidence, I believe, that in the months leading up to May this is exactly the book our small group has been studying. The book Joe has been leading us through, just as he will lead us through the day that is to come. Power. Love. A sound mind.

Sweet peace in those real promises.

And secondly is our story, our testimony. Our doula took pictures for us during Maddie's birth and she also wrote our story as she witnessed it. It has become a treasured possession of ours that I read often in these days of waiting. Just in case something were to ever happen to it and now that our blog is private, I will share the details to remind us all that we do not have to settle for a spirit of fear. No, indeed!

*As you read on, please keep in mind that this is our experience just as the doula recorded it. It isn't too graphic or anything, but still... just thought I'd throw that out there! :)

Katrina and Joe- you are mightily blessed!

What a beautiful journey, a dance, an embrace. I was so blessed to have witnessed such a pure and loving welcome to this new life. It is amazing, every moment that I think of it, how much God was a part of this miraculous time; from Joe's laryngitis (which forced him to speak quietly throughout your labor), to the nurse in your room (who was a believer and whose daughter was both a missionary and a doula), to the willingness of your doctor to "bend the rules," to the ease of which your body opened to receive your beautiful babe and the timing labor began.

Around nine in the morning on Friday, July 18th, two days after your estimated due date, I received a phone call from Joe that you, Katrina, were having contractions between 4-7 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute. Although they were "sporadic," they were definitely making you work. I began getting things in order to come to you. At about 11, I received a second call that things were definitely getting stronger and asked that I come over.

I put my children in the babysitter's hands and headed your way. On the way, I received another call that you had changed plans and were going to go into the hospital. I met you there and noticed the contractions seemed to come anywhere from two minutes apart up to to seven minutes apart. After spending an hour in the waiting room, you were given a room and things really started to pick up.

After changing into a gown, you sat on the bed for your initial strip. Your nurse, Terry, was such a lovely God-send. She didn't wait for you to ask but went ahead and worked on getting permission from your doctor to simply place a hep-lock instead of IV fluids. She then let me know that, as long as she could get some tracings on the baby, she would be happy.

As soon as the strip was done, you got out of bed and began dancing with Joe- who gave you loving caresses and whispered sweet encouragement to you. You would lean forward into his chest and breathe through each contraction, swaying your hips. At the conclusion of each contraction, you would stand back up, holding his hand, while he swept strands of hair behind your ear.

You tried the birthing ball when you began to tire of standing, and moved your body gently with each contraction. Around this time, you began to feel that it was too much, I reminded you of your promise to be protected in labor, and of your prayer to have a seamless birthing time and quick labor. God was granting you the desires of your heart. Joe quickly moved in to whisper encouragement to you and prayer- asking God to give you strength, and praising Him for the labor you were having.

It was truly a holy moment. Your acceptance, your peace, and his love; the setting in which miracles can occur. Watching you work with your body so fluidly, effortlessly, was poetry to witness. You were in tune with exactly what your body needed to bring your baby down. And soon you were feeling the urge to push.

As the pressure in your lower back began to intensify, and your legs began to fatigue more, you moved to the bed, where you sat 'en-throne'. Soon we requested the squat bar, and you attempted a few squats. These simply did not feel right to you and you asked for another idea. During this time, your doctor came into the room and pulled a stool into the corner, the furthest point away from the room as possible, and patiently watched your birth unfold.

I recommended turning around so that your arms were folded over the raised back of the bed and you were on your knees. This only worked a short time as well. You turned back around on your own volition and soon felt an overwhelming urge, which had evaded you until this point. Your nurse encouraged you at your head, Joe leaned in to give you whispered praise while alternately watching the baby's descent. I helped support your other leg and, only when baby's head began to show, did your doctor wheel herself to the center of the room and put her hands on her knees, exclaiming, "Oh, now, here we go!"

You seemed slightly disbelieving that you had arrived at this point in your labor, but your baby descended quickly. As the head began to emerge, your doctor put her hand protectively on your perineum and helped ease the speed of birth. Almost immediately, I noticed that the baby had some indications of being stuck. Your doctor noted it too and asked for the bed to be lowered. No panic, no fear- simply direction. As your bed was being lowered you gave another push and the baby's shoulders literally popped free and she was born onto the foot of the bed where she let the world know of her arrival.

Joe leaned in and whispered with joyful tears that it was a girl. You brought your baby into the world in God's strength, your husband's support, and loving faith from all those surrounding you on that day in a little under twelve hours of labor. You were beautifully graceful and humbly strong.

I am so blessed to have been given the gift of witnessing this sacred event! Thank you, family Martins!

Welcome to the world

Beautiful Madison Elise

"Good hearted, God's promise"

Born at 6:32 pm on July 18th

8 lbs. 15 oz.

Power. Love. A sound mind. To Him, not us, be the glory.



Fear... reborn.

~Katrina